Disappointment and relief

I received a letter on Saturday informing me that I was not chosen for the Chancellor’s Fellowship for this year. In some ways I’m disappointed and in some ways I’m relieved. I was really hoping to be able to knock out a large portion of my remaining credits and get that degree sooner rather than later. However, after the first few weeks of class I began to question whether I’d be able to do it if I was awarded the scholarship. My anxiety grew as I struggled with my coursework and waited to hear my fate for the next year. The anxiety is now mostly gone and I’m somewhat relieved that much of the pressure is off.

Although the statistics class is demanding of my time week in and week out, I’m finding the class not too terribly difficult. After the Calculus 1 and 2, and Linear Algebra classes, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. As expected, I’ve been struggling with the C++ course. It boils down to the fact that I’ve forgotten so much of the basics and syntax of C++. Rich provided a little guidance and I’ve been using a basic C++ book for reference. With the help I was able to complete the first programming assignment and turn it in. I scored just below the class average, which was disappointing, but almost expected from such a rusty coder. I’m hoping to do better on the next assignment. I’ve already been looking at the code from this last one and improving it – trying to learn where I could make improvements and what was missing.

As for the scholarship program, there’s always next year. Who knows, maybe next year I’ll be better prepared academically. Maybe next year fewer people will apply and I’ll have a greater chance. Maybe next year I’ll be viewed as a better overall candidate by the selection committee. Maybe.