My fellow Americans, my compatriots around the world, my children and my children's children, I am deeply sorry for the problems I have helped create. I have done absolutely nothing to improve the fuel-efficiency or environmental impact of modern motorized vehicles. I purchased and drove a gas-guzzling light truck that I could have lived without. I drove this vehicle for years while the hauling, towing and four-wheel drive capabilities went largely unused. Instead, I drove it practically everyday on local roads and highways, doing my little part to destroy the Earth's natural resources. Only now, when gasoline prices have begun to adversely affect my wallet, do I realize the errors of my ways. Please except my apologies and know that I will correct this travesty in hopes of creating a better tomorrow for all of us.
Sincerely,
wil
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